I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. My brain injury was definitely something that was supposed to happen, the universe was taking me in a different direction.
A little story behind my brain injury.
I was having a lot of head pain the summer of 2016, but never thought much of it. I told my mom that I was having this head pain, but we didn’t think it was anything serious, just some bad migraines. We tried to link it to different things, such as my new prescriptions in my glasses, or that fact that I just started school again after a year of being off. This was around the time I started school again at my local community college, in August of 2016. I was excited to move forward with my life after being sick with my internal issues for the past year. Two weeks into school, on a weekend while doing homework, my normal migraine was hurting more than usual, and it was absolutely unbearable. I started having blurred vision and was blacking out, I couldn’t even sleep that weekend because of how much my head hurt.
I went to emergency the next day. I was scared, but after a CAT scan, they said I had no internal bleeding, thank God. Despite the good news, they said that I did have a brain injury, a severe concussion. They said that it looks like I’ve had it for a long time as well. (I played competitive soccer for 12 years and have had about 5 concussions, so safe to say my brain is very sensitive.) They asked me how I could have gotten this injury and the only blow to the head I could recall is hitting my head on the wall one night while sleeping. I had a massive bump on my head the next day. For awhile after, I had some head pain and was quite sensitive, but I didn’t make the connection until my doctor visit. My brain has gone through so many blows that a small hit can cause major damage. They told me I had to drop out of school and rest so my brain could heal. I couldn’t believe I was hearing those words. I’ve never cried so much.A girl crying because she can’t go to school, you don’t hear that a lot. At the moment it felt I was taking one step forward just to get knocked three steps back.
I was on heavy pain killers and anti depression medication to help with the headaches. I felt weird most days and slept a lot. I couldn’t watch tv or listen to music because most noise made me feel like my head was going to explode. I just couldn’t deal with the pain. I also couldn’t excercise or do much at all, I was stuck in bed most days. I became an angrier person even though I was still trying to remain positive. The brain injury took its toll on me…I was having a hard time dealing with it all. A lot of emotional, and physical up-and-downs those past several months.
What saved me was drawing and painting, or just art in general. There wasn’t much I could do without getting a headache, so I just started taking some printer paper and a sharpie and I would look at pictures on the internet to copy them. It was fun, and I actually wasn’t that bad. I enjoyed it a lot and felt like I was finally doing something for myself. I’m a very creative person, so doing this made me incredibly happy. Pencil turned into sharpie, then water-color and paint. I just continued putting my time into creating art. It was nice to finally be excited about something after such a long time of not being excited about anything.
Art was an escape. Something I can put my energy towards and feel fulfilled after. My brain injury led me to art, just as my internal issues led me to veganism and a healthier lifestyle.
My brain injury also gave me a major push into finally creating my blog. I felt like the universe was telling me that school wasn’t for me. At least it wasn’t meant to be at this time. SO, once I no longer had headaches, I bought a camera, and had no more excuses not to start the blog. Now I am here. Past the pain, and the struggle, and am better for it.
Creating is everything for me. It’s when I’m my happiest, and feel most accomplished. I have found a new passion in painting, and I look forward to keep on working at it and getting better. I even find myself getting excited about buying canvases and paint brushes.
If you ever have something you’ve ever wanted to try, DO IT! Life is too short not to put yourself out there and do something new. If you ever wanted to try to play an instrument etc., start now, it’s never to late to do something that makes you happy.
So even in the hardest of time some light can come out of it.
A more personal post, little more into my world these past couple months. I’m very thankful that I feel much better these days. The brain is very unpredictable so I hope I continue to do great and no longer have to deal with the effects of the brain injury.
PS. The picture I was painting in this is Brad Pitt from Fight Club!!! I love painting people!
XOXO Sabrina Lea